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todayoklw 05-11-2016 12:37 AM

Learning problem
My biggest problem with changing is not I know what my bad habits are and don't have the determination to change, but can't realize what I'm doing are wrong, I just live with the bad habits and wrong thoughts, though feel discomfortable but don't know how to start, you tell us in your book to pursue happyness/be myself/unleash/have self-confidence, but I just don't kown how to do. My grandma told me I need to study hard for my family, I never do anything I really want to do but just do what be good for my future, maybe 'normal' people can easily know this is wrong, I some how feel maybe what I did was wrong, but I just can't make sure whether this feeling is correct or not, I can't cause I need someone to clearly tell me, I guess it is maybe the doubt itself also effects me to learn and carry out your self-coaching theory. My bad habits and wrong thoughts, I just can't recognize and realize them, you may tell me using the 1st and 2nd steps, the 1st step, if I want to find what my problems are, don't to think that I need to have the 'normal' mind/actions first? For example, if I can't walk out my house, a 'normal' people may find out what they are thinking, maybe 'if I go outside there will be bad things happen', but for me, I really think I can't walk out my house, as the reason I have seems so reasonable to me, that mean when we have mental problems usually our judgement also is effected, so this is the most difficult part I think. The 2nd step, the facts and fictions are the same to me, so it's really hard. Would you please give me some advice to deal with this learning problem? I've been trying to figure out the learning problem but I even didn't know how to describe it.

Is it because my mental problems are too serious? Or maybe I need consider Depression and take medicine? I went to see a doctor and she adviced me to take fluoxetine, I refused as she even didn't consider counseling first.

You told us people without mental problems should be no doubt/fear/etc, this prospect is exactly what I want and some how I feel our minds should be, so I really want to change and achieve. But how!

Dr. Joe 05-13-2016 02:10 PM

I'm sorry, however, because of our language differences, it's difficult for me to fully understand your question, therefore I don't feel it would wise to suggest any specific Self-Coaching suggestions. Generically speaking, keep in mind that doubts, fears, and negative thinking are typically the realm of insecurity. Insecurity can definitely cloud one's judgment and perception. Step One, separating facts from fictions is a process whereby you continue to distinguish insecurity-driven thinking from objective, reasonable thinking. This might be an important focus for you.

I do wish you well,
Dr. Joe

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