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todayoklw 03-05-2016 10:24 PM

How to deal with this?
When I was a baby, my mom let me sleep on my back, this effects my head shape and face shape, and nomatter what I wear, it looks ugly, I feel regret, angry, depressed, hopeless, diffident, when I was 13 yrs old, I even thought my life was ruined. Nomatter how I comfort myself, the fact can't be changed, though I still try to find the a healthy and natural way to correct my head shape and face shape. I thought it's body dysmorphic disorder, but even so, the physical prolbem I mentioned above is not fiction, though the mood may be not fact, I just can't go through it. I've being so depressed. Nothing can compensate for my loss, sometimes, I can read the news of someone who got permanent damage by an accident, at that time I really can understand them, I know no one can really knows the regret and all kinds of emotional problems, I really want to have another chance to live, but I have not.

Thank you for helping me so many times!

Dr. Joe 03-06-2016 02:51 PM

The Path of Emotional Liberation
With body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), itís not uncommon for oneís physical complaints to be either slight flaws or totally imagined. For argument sake, I will assume that your complaints are not exaggerations. In Greek mythology, the gods condemned Sisyphus to roll a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. Whether dysmorphic or not, concerns, hypersensitivity, and obsessions about physical appearance can become a boulder, from which, reading your post, it seems you feel you can never escape.

If, in fact, this is the case then it is imperative that you ferret out the influence that insecurity is having on your perceptions and emotions. Insecurity will cast a harsh shadow leaving you feeling victimized and powerless. You may be powerless over your actual physical appearance; however you are not powerless as to how you respond and interpret this

In order to take your life back from insecurity and to neutralize the negativity and despair that you feel, you are going to have to choose a courageous path of acceptance--a path that allows you to embrace your self-worth. You may balk, or should I say your insecurity may balk, insisting this is not possible. Please try to understand that it's insecurity that insists on a black and white world where there are no alternatives. This is not true.

The more you begin to stop trying to undo the past and begin to move forward with acceptance and dignity, the sooner you begin to build an atrophied self-esteem muscle. Here's the bottom line: non-acceptance generates friction and stress. This is not only depleting, it's also a trap. A path toward acceptance will liberate you from the chronic frictions of regret, resentment, and torturous emotions. As understandable as it is that you "feel" you can't accept your physical challenges, please be mindful that feelings aren't facts. You owe it to yourself to be on a path of liberation.

I do wish you well,
Dr. Joe
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