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Old 09-16-2015, 04:00 PM
Gardener Gardener is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 4
Default reply to advice about negative thoughts

Thanks for your response. It IS helpful. What I understand from your reply is that when I keep my mind on what I’m doing, that helps to keep me outside of my head and stop any reflexive thinking. So the more I can “stay in the present” the less chance reflexive thinking has to take over. Also when I need to make a non-threatening decision, don’t spend too much time beating it to death like I usually do! Just decide and accept the results as okay. That will be a challenge for me!!!
I have had anxiety almost my whole life (I am 66 years old). At age 21, I developed Agoraphobia because of panic attacks and had it for 10 years without knowing what my problem was. Then I found Dr. Claire Weekes’ books which helped me understand the problem but I had to read it more than a few times before I began to understand the concept of “fear of fear”. It took me another 5 years to work through some of the panic. I worked as an administrative assistant from age 17 until I retired in 2008. When I was engrossed in my work I was relaxed so I did very well on my job. I hid my problem because I did not want it to affect my job and I felt there was a stigma attached to this sort of thing (I don’t think that is true so much anymore).
During my life, I went to work and came home and did not go many places (except with family members). I met my husband at work and got married for the first time at age 48 (real true love, since he married me knowing about my problem! ). He has been a great support to me over our 18 years of marriage. We laugh about how I have a “backup” for everything (and sometimes a backup to a backup) in an effort to try to control things. That is something I have been working on also.
I have never taken medication for this and always believed that I could overcome it by myself in time. I still have a lot to overcome but hope to do it by learning that I can handle life as it comes and, as a Christian, I also believe that God is watching over me and guiding my life too. The self-help material I had in the past has helped me, but I think the Self-Coaching concept is just what I have been looking for.
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