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Old 11-01-2014, 01:02 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,015

I'm sorry, but I still find it hard to understand your problem. Perhaps this will help.
Step One is a general awareness of what's going on, especially when you're feeling out of control or struggling. This is something you can do whenever you're feeling emotionally stressed, anxious, depressed. The more you understand how you react to feeling out of control (insecure, vulnerable, etc.) the more empowered you become.
Step Two, separating facts from fictions, is really the first active step. When you find yourself struggling, you take a second to as whether what's going through your mind are factual or fictitious? Remember feelings aren't facts. This step is an attempt to get you to realize if you're dealing with fictions (doubts, fears, negatives) you have a choice. Since, for example, worry thoughts are not facts (they are predictions of future chaos), then why not choose to let go of these thoughts (steps 3 and 4)
Step Three. After recognizing that you are dealing with emotional fictions (doubts, fears, negatives), it's time to dig your heels in and tell yourself, "Stop it! Drop it!" This is an active step and you need to get used interrupting the flow of doubts, fears and negative thinking.
Step Four is the goal, letting go. Once you've convinced yourself that you have a choice not to be caught up in negative, destructive, knee-jerk thinking and once you emphatically decided to put a stop to this line of thinking, it's time to let go. Using some of the techniques, you need to practice, for example, 'changing channels.' Distractions can help, but ultimately you're demonstrating that you are in charge of your thoughts, not the other way around. You really can choose to, for example, stop worrying, etc.
Step Five, motivation. By feeling more empowered and less victimized by your emotions, you begin to feel more hopeful and optimistic. Optimism is psychological energy and it's what fuels motivation to go on fighting the good fight.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Joe
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