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Old 09-15-2015, 09:18 PM
Gardener Gardener is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 4
Default Need advice about negative thoughts

I first read your book in March 2014. I read it a second time and highlighted the basic information and any parts that pertained specifically to me. Then I typed an outline of the whole book (about 17 typed pages) so I could re-read all the information in a short time to refresh my memory. That has been very helpful. I have read many good books about anxiety and depression over the years and have benefited from them, but I think that your Self-Coaching book is one of the best. I bought one for my sister and an extra one to lend out to someone else if needed.
Your simple explanation of the cause and continuation of anxiety and depression is right on target. It has helped me very much to further my journey to becoming a healthier and happier person. I know it takes a lot of work and I still have a long way to go but in the last year I have make progress because of your advice. In March of last year I decided to re-read a lot of my self-help material because I was having trouble with my mind racing on a lot of negative thoughts. After finding and reading your book, I practiced stopping the racing thoughts. At first it was hard and I no sooner stopped one, than my mind was off and racing again. It can be very frustrating. However, I keep stopping them and replacing them with more productive thoughts. After a while I was able to stop them and be at peace for some time. Now, a year later, do not have the “racing” thoughts. However I still have negative thoughts which I have been working to replace.
My questions is this: To stay in the present moment, you gave advice about concentrating on what you were doing – in my case something like washing dishes—look at the soap, think about the hot water, etc. – in other words, keep your mind on what you are doing. It takes me sometimes one-half hour to wash and dry dishes. During that time I can think about what I am doing for only so long. Washing a dish is washing a dish and finally it becomes automatic (like tying your shoelaces). So then I will sometimes look out the window at my vegetable garden while I’m doing the dishes and think about what I will be planting. I love gardening so this should be a happy thought. But then I start thinking about all the problems I will have –trying to decide which seeds to buy and which not to buy and where I should plant them in the garden. All these decisions although very simple decisions cause me stress. Why are simple decisions like this so stressful? How can I overcome that feeling? What I have been trying to do is just “decide something” without worrying so much whether is the very best thing to do and then let it go. If it doesn’t work, then try something else the next year – not worry so much about whether it is the perfect answer. Is this the right way to do it?
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