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Old 09-16-2015, 02:09 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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Gardener,
Let me begin by telling you how delighted I am to hear of your progress. It's readers like you that inspire me to continue writing and expanding my Self-Coaching philosophy. For this I am grateful.

Regarding your question. First let me address your efforts to be "present" (i.e., washing the dishes). It's not possible to be in a permanent, meditative state as you found out. What's important is to use such focusing techniques merely to assist you in understanding that you always have the ability to separate from the chatter in your mind. Too often we feel victimized by our insecurities (doubts, fears, negatives). Practicing being more connected to our external world is a way to go from congested thinking to unencumbered living. But, as I said, this is simply a practice to teach you that you have the capacity for stepping apart from any thought that is stressing you.

Regarding the stress you feel about simple, innocuous decisions, let me begin by saying that this happens to be a fantastic opportunity to liberate yourself from the overly cautious need to be safe (in control). No one likes to make a "wrong" decision, but when insecurity enters the picture we often become paralyzed with fear. The fact that you're struggling with non-threatening decision making, makes this a golden opportunity to flex your self-trust muscle. You need to assert yourself against the compulsive, insecurity-driven fears and doubts. How? You do this by boldly, and simply, just making a choice. In this experiment, you're not trying to pick the right choice (i.e., seeds, etc.) you're simply practicing "doing." You're breaking the frozen patterns that insist you have to be sure, accurate, correct, etc. And here's the rub, it doesn't matter if you choose the wrong choice! In fact, sometimes it's to your advantage to be wrong. Why is this? Because you can begin to understand that the world doesn't end if you make a poor choice. Eliminate perfectionistic, controlling tendencies by boldly allowing your intuition to simply choose, right or left, black or white, vanilla or chocolate. It doesn't matter! What does matter is that you're practicing liberating yourself from the compulsivity of insecurity.

Hope this helps

Yours,
Dr. Joe

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