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  #1  
Old 01-28-2014, 01:50 PM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Default Hi Dr

Hi I have suffered from anxiety and depression for nearly 20 years......meds, therapies, the linden method you name it Ive done it but am about to start cbt through my gp. Anxiety has claimed far too much of my life and no matter what I do I cant seem to be free of it.
I have recently been fearful for my life because I have had enough. Two marriages and now a long distance long term relationship looks like its gonna die because I cant 'cope' with life.I have a faith but even in that I see myself as not worthy of a cure or full recovery.
Im not a 'bad' person and seem to cut everyone else a lot of slack except myself.
I really am hoping that this time I can seriously kick negativitys butt. Please tell me I am not the first to secretly think they will never be better and that I have it within me to have a real life.............
C
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Old 01-28-2014, 05:18 PM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Also I have tried so many things only to read how it hasnt worked for some people. I am so tired of being only half a person. I am trying to add more activities to my days but I get very lazy very easily:-(
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Old 01-30-2014, 04:50 PM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Am so tearful. My gp upped my meds (mirtazipine) 3 weeks ago. Im so unhappy Dr Joe I wonder why I am alive....I am doing the steps but have yet to make my training log. Any tips...please
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Old 01-31-2014, 02:15 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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It seems to me that you need a bit of a pep-talk--a pep-talk with substance! First let me begin by highlighting the fact that from a Self-Coaching perspective, anxiety and depression are best addressed by seeing them as habits, habits of insecurity. Why is this important? Because if you accept this orientation, then the solution presents itself, i.e., we all know about habits--habits are learned and habits can be broken. I understand that when your life has been hammered by anxiety and depression for years, it may seem simplistic to approach your struggles in this manner. I'm reminded of Occam's razor: all things being equal, the simpler solution is the better. Your work doesn't have to be complicated, not if you realize that habits, all habits are learned and all habits can be broken.

The motor behind anxiety and depression is insecurity (which leads to a lack of self-trust, confidence, and esteem). Your job is to find out how you feed this habit of insecurity. And according to Self-Coaching, anxiety and depression are fed by three "crumbs:" doubts, fears and negatives. You need to recognize that destructive thinking (doubts, fears, negatives) reinforces the habits that have ruined and ruled your life. And you need to begin to "starve" the habit of insecurity by catching yourself from mindlessly handing yourself over to insecurity-driven thinking. How? One thought at a time. This requires a kind of mental discipline, but with a bit of practice and intentionality, you can begin to cut off insecurity's feeding supply...one thought at a time. My grandmother used to say, "You can't stop a bird from flying into your hair (i.e., you can't stop a thought from percolating up into your brain), but you don't have to help it build a nest (i.e., you don't have to embrace a second destructive thought, a third, a fourth, etc.). In my book I use a technique called Self-Talk to overcome the runaway train of insecurity-driven thinking, you may want to check this out. For now, keep in mind that your "habit" of anxiety and depression need to be fed (doubts, fears, negatives), with awareness you can begin to cut off the thoughts that feed and sustain your struggles.

I wish you well,
Dr. Joe

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with your physician or other qualified mental health professional.
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Old 01-31-2014, 05:01 PM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Thank you DrJoe. I have your self coaching book and am at the point of creating a training log. I hope to succeed.
Claire
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  #6  
Old 01-31-2014, 05:42 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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Attitude counts, be determined and stay hopeful!
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Old 01-31-2014, 07:29 PM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Isthe log essential? Can knowing the steps be enough?
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Old 01-31-2014, 07:39 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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The log is just a tool to foster awareness, it is completely optional.
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  #9  
Old 01-31-2014, 08:22 PM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Thank you.:-)
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  #10  
Old 02-01-2014, 09:33 AM
justclaire justclaire is offline
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Dr joe I am finding the alternatives to the negative thinking really useful. With the 'i have to' you say at that end about being strong enough to accept this, can you explain that a bit more please?
Thanks
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