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Old 09-19-2004, 09:23 PM
fostermom fostermom is offline
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Default Still spinning...

Hi Dr. Joe. Wendy again. Sorry to be on here so much. I just seem to not be able to break away from my anxious thoughts. I'm wearing myself out overanalyzing everything... I have read the book, it is very good. I seem to have a hard time ignoring the scary thoughts, and turning away. It is like I can't do it. I tell myself something positive to counter the negative thinking, but I can tell my brain is tired and I just stay watchful. I try to stay busy doing things, but I find myself drained and dreading time alone, time to reflect. I also worry about the self perpetuating area of this whole thing... I worry that I don't have control because I'm spinning with anxiety again, and I will end up losing my kids to my soon to be ex, depressed etc. etc. I try so hard to counter it, but it is like the thoughts and the drain is stronger than what I say. I can't seem to hold a positive outlook for long at all. What am I doing wrong? I have tried to go back and take notes on your book... it is all very good information. Why am I hypnotizing myself? Why am I believing this garbage? How do I break out of it and begin to get healthy again? I felt like I was doing better for a while there. I'm still taking Paxil. Why does this feel so hard? I'm guessing that I'm so afraid of failure, of having to "grow up" and get a job and go back to school and be alone, that I'm looking for ways to sabatoge myself. I don't want to do this! The harder I fight, the more it seems to take over. Help! Wendy
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Old 09-20-2004, 01:02 AM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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Wendyó
After reading about your pain and struggle these past few weeks, Iíd like you to consult with the physician who prescribed your Paxil. I suspect that at this point youíre into too much of a spiral of depletion and anxiety. And when this happens it's almost impossible to focus your efforts. We need to slow down the current of anxiety with proper medication before we can implement an effective Self-Coaching campaign. Medication, with intense and severe anxiety, needs to be looked at as a therapy facilitator. So please, request an evaluation with your psychiatrist and let him or her know whatís been going on. Iím sure, with the proper medication, things will begin to become more manageable and then your efforts with my program will begin to pay off. From that point, you will effectively begin to dismantle the spiral of insecurity that has you in a tailspin. I need you to get the help you need to slow down this run-away-train of anxiety thinking and then I need you to get back to basics and reestablish some self-trust. For now, itís first things first. Make the call in the morning.

Along with the above, I would also like to suggest that you speak with a mental health professional. Covering all your bases at this point seems like the best way to achieve the closure you're looking for. Once the dust begins to settle with this struggle, you'll be in a better position to reclaim your resiliant, capable, and healthy life back.

Yours,
Dr. Joe
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Old 09-20-2004, 10:33 AM
fostermom fostermom is offline
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Okay, I will go back to my physician for a plan for meds. Of course, I'm afraid of meds as well. Is there anything that you recommend? Should it be a change of SSRI or something else? I used Klonopin when this all first started about 4 years ago, and it worked too well. I didn't use it for long, the psych. thought I might get addicted to it. I agree that I'm spinning this stuff and spiraling in the wrong way. How do I tell myself that meds aren't a failure? Shouldn't I be able to do this without meds? If it is just my mind telling me things, I should be able to turn away and do okay. But it doesn't seem to be happening. Do you really think I can have success after all of this? And how do I not become addicted to any meds? Wendy
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Old 09-20-2004, 12:48 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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As a psychologist I canít make any medical recommendations, but Iím confident thereís more you could be doing to help your situation. Thatís why an evaluation at this time is essential. I suggest you also discuss your concerns and fears regarding the medication, with proper guidance this shouldnít be a significant problem. As to whether medication is a failure, I can only say that if you broke your ankle you wouldnít see using a crutch as a failure. Same with anxiety. Right now you are hobbled with anxiety and an avalanche of insecurity thinking. Seems to me, stopping the flood of negativity and doubt, regaining your footing, instilling a sense of confidence and assurance, and then reducing or eliminating medication, sounds like a healthy and smart plan of attack. As I said before, medication is a ìtherapy facilitator.î Self-Coaching depends on a certain capacity for focus. When anxiety depletes you to such an extent that you are unable to focus sufficiently on the training thatís required, it only makes sense to restore your depleted condition and give yourself a level playing field. Rather than struggling up a slope that is impossible to progress on, medication can allow you to face your problems more directly with a renewed capacity and resilience. At this point, as you begin to dismantle the Reflexive Thinking that has spawned your anxiety, you begin to liberate yourself from the depleting effects of insecurity. And it is also at this point that you begin to reclaim your life.

Finally, let me say, you are not a failure. Considering the ongoing series of traumatic and debilitating circumstances youíve had to deal with, you need to take a step back and realize that you got worn downóphysically as well as mentally. Right now youíre probably blaming yourself for all thatís happened, youíre probably looking at everything you do and feeling guilty, but please, keep in mind, this is your reflexive insecurity talking. Just take a deep breath, turn (as best you can) away from the negatives that flood your thoughts and take the steps Iíve suggested. With a bit of stamina and clarity, youíll begin to finally see the truth.
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