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Old 09-20-2004, 12:27 AM
cpk cpk is offline
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Hi Dr.,

Thank goodness you're out there. Before I begin, please know that I am not one of the multitudes of disconnected....or, upon reflection I guess I am. I am 37 and hold two university degrees (a BA in Political Science and a BA in Secondary Education). I have been married for five years to a wonderful woman (who by the way is preparing to write her MCAT exam). I teach at an alternative highschool, which means I teach kids who come out of dysfunction in each of the social institutions. My wife and I have taught in South Korea and have traveled throughout Asia on vacation. Yes, I ought to be grateful and consider myself lucky. Doctor, why then do I maintain such a ****ty attitude toward the world? By that I mean I am never truly happy. Actually, I can count the number of times I have had a sincere laugh. I am untrusting and bitter at the core. I realize, from my travels in poor countries, that I am really spoiled by the Western mentality. I have seen how bad it can be. God, I come from Canada the socialist epitome where everyone gets a fair shake. Even this pisses me off, as I have pure disdain for political correctness and liberalism. How do I get happy?
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Old 09-20-2004, 01:17 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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Dear CPKó
I think you hit the nail on the head with your statement: ìI am untrusting and bitter at the core.î Although I disagree that your core is ìbitterî (actually quite the contrary), I do agree that your lack of trust is why you suffer from unhappiness. According to my new book, The Power of Self-Coaching, happiness can be defined as:

Öa state of well-being and contentment that results from living in harmony with your nature. The converse is equally true: disjointed, unhappy life results from insecurity distorting your true nature. Happiness can be subdivided into three components:
● personal happiness
● functional happiness
● social/relationship happiness


Obviously, I canít go into these components in great detail in this post, but specifically I can say this to you. When insecurity weaves its tread of doubt, negativity, and distrust through our lives, our true source of spontaneity and happiness becomes eclipsed, hidden from conscious view. Again from the book:

"As Ben Franklin once said, AThe Constitution only gives you the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it." When insecurity begins steering your life, the pursuit of happiness comes to a screeching halt. There can be no real or lasting happiness when your life is driven by control. Although I agree wholeheartedly with the gist and spirit of Mr. Franklin's definition of happiness, I do, however, take issue with one word. To me, happiness isnít something you catch as much as something you release.

In order for you to release your capacity for genuine happiness, you must remove that which prevents it from finding expression. Whatís preventing it? Reflexive, insecure, habit thinkingónothing else. Iíd like you to take a look at my Self-Coaching philosophy articles in this website and please, keep in mind, thereís nothing wrong with your coreónever was--itís the overlay of insecurity that has obscured this realization and capacity.
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