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Old 10-24-2014, 10:43 PM
alexaj alexaj is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Default After Self Coaching...

My girlfriend had a very difficult year with things such as moving, struggling with a new job, dead of her grandfather and a miscarriage that affected both of us. While she turned depressed I handled the situation in a bad way. My lack of maturity to recognize the symptoms and provide the adequate support made us go in different directions emotionally. This created an immense amount of anxiety in me with all of its elements that come with it. We decided to give us some time apart so that she can deal with her depression and I could overcome anxiety. It was affecting her been around my anxiety. We haven't talked in a while as we agreed and I spent my time learning and implementing your Self Coaching program. Im truly grateful for your insight. I went from wanting to die to been full of positive energy that someday I would like to bring into my relationship and demonstrate her that it doesn't has to be like before. She's getting professional help, but last time we spoke she said she was emotionally numb and confused. We decided to give us 2 months of space. Once its time to sit and talk, how could I provide her with the adequate support and make her feel secure and hopefully create a more stable relationship.

Im about to start reading your book: Reconnecting...


Thanks,
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Old 10-25-2014, 01:50 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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Alexja,

Seems to me from your note that you've already come a long way toward the "maturity" that you say you were lacking. Maturity is synonymous taking responsibility for life's challenges. Since your separation, that's exactly what you've done! I think it's important for your girlfriend to know how much effort you've put into your maturation process. Your anxiety was related to the chaotic situation that you were both dealing with. When feeling out of control, we have a tendency to panic. The more that insecurity calls the shots, the more anxiety and panic one can expect.

I'm glad you've decided to read Self-Coaching, I believe you need to continue to grow and mature by defusing insecurity. With a Self-Coaching foundation, you should be able to insist on a healthier, more resilient attitude. Your girlfriend should be able to sense your newfound stability and maturity; together you need to help each other get through these tough times. The last thing either one of you should want would be to let insecurity (a.k.a., insecurity, fear, panic, negativity, etc.) prevent you from going forward. Stay positive and insist on continuing your efforts (for a bit of encouragement you may want to view a video I just made on optimism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIiN7yhDGco). I admire you tenacity, which I'm sure will show you the way toward a more secure relationship.

I do wish you well,
Dr. Joe


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