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Old 02-20-2005, 07:42 PM
RCAREY2004 RCAREY2004 is offline
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Default SUICIDE

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF. I HAVE THOUGHT HOW CAN I DO IT QUICKLY IRREVERSABLY AND PAINLESSLY. I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING I EVER LOVED AND THOUGH I HAVE TRIED TO RE MARRY, I HAVE TRIED TO REBUILD, I AM EMPTY. OVER TEN YEARS HAVE PASSED NOW AND THE WOUNDS FEEL LIKE YESTERDAY.
I SEE NO HOPE, NO REASON TO BE HAPPY.
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Old 02-21-2005, 02:19 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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You need to know that my words are no replacement for a face-to-face contact with a mental health professional. Please, keep in mind, with severe depression; especially with any thoughts of suicide, itís imperative that you contact someone immediatelyñtoday! One thing about depression, it has the tendency to compress and distort your perception of life and livingñthe benefit of speaking to a qualified professional, one who can offer an objective view and support you during these difficult times, is essential.

I can sense how desperate you feel, but you need to understand that a part of you IS NOT convinced that hurting yourself is the answer. And itís this part that wrote to me, legitimately asking for help. This is whatís healthy in you and this is the part of you that needs some Self-Coaching.

You say thereís no hope and no reason to be happy. One thing thatís universal about depression, it narrows your focus to such an extent that the only solace seems to be found in further withdrawal for life, further attempts to stop any more pain. Yet in spite of this nagging tug you may feel towards depression, know that there remain options. The fact that you see no hope, doesnít mean there isnít any hope!

With depression, itís very difficult to muster up the energy to fight-back and regain an objective perspective. Thatís why a Self-Coaching approach can be so valuable. Just as a coach will enter a half-time locker room and turn an attitude of defeat into one of success, you must find a way to reverse the fortunes of your life. A coach does this by instilling a belief and confidence that success is not only possible, itís doable. Your depression is trying to tell you itís not possible. Your depression is wrong! And just as a coach begins to stir up a fighting spirit, a desire, a conviction, so too must you find that spark to turn things around.

Self-Coaching can teach you to see beyond the distortions and the fictions perpetrated by despair and insecurity. As bad as life can get, itís not life that winds up making us wanting to quit, itís insecurity's interpretation of our difficult, traumatic circumstance(s)! When circumstances are contaminated with habits of negativity and insecurity, then the view is dark indeed. For you, itís important to develop a capacity for living without an anticipation of negativity. Rather than looking forward with predictions of more chaos, negativity, doubt or fear, you must first learn to neutralize reflexive, insecurity-driven thoughts. Itís so important for you to learn to let life unfold without prejudice and negative anticipation of things getting worse. And this will make all the difference. From a less contaminated, more objective assessment of your life, the seeds for legitimate and realistic optimism can sprout.

One last word on medication. Symptoms of anxiety and depression can be visualized as a kind of current that presses against us. Sometimes the current is so strong that we canít muster up the energy and capacity for doing the work that is essential in overcoming these problems. With severe anxiety and depression itís absolutely essential to slow down this current (i.e., medication) in order to employ a program such as Self-Coaching. I canít stress this point enough. If you have severe and destructive thoughts, you need to be seen by a mental health professional first before you turn to any book or more passive approach to healing. If there are destructive thoughts, you need to do this TODAY! When the ìcurrentî of anxiety or depression becomes too strong, itís hard--if not impossible--to make progress. Some people feel that medication will only mask a problem, I feel differently. I feel that medication can serve as a ìtherapy facilitator,î promoting a capacity for tolerance and patience thatís necessary for healing to take place. Whatís important is that you give yourself every opportunity to be successful.

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with your physician or other qualified mental health professional.

Yours,
Dr. Joe
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