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Old 02-22-2005, 04:37 AM
dancin_diva dancin_diva is offline
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I am 21 years old and a dancer/actress. I live at home right now, but I did move to new york when I was 19 to pursue my dream of dancing. Recently, both my grandparents (who I was very close to ) passed away, and I moved back home. Now I am at a loss. Also, my boyfriend of three years just dumped me. I feel so alone! I am very close to my family, but I don't think they understand me. Now, I just got a dance agent in L.A. and it's created even more problems. I only have a year of college behind me and I don't know how to support my dream. I also don't know if I can leave my family this time like I did before. I feel like I am torn between two loves, the love of my family and the love of dance. I also don't know what I would do if I didn't dance. I feel like I have no qualities. I'm not sure if I can make it in dance. What would I do then. I have nothing and I don't want to do anything other than dance. I'm scared, no terrified of the future. I have frequent anxiety attacks and my parents don't know how to help me. Please, don't tell me I need to see a psychiatrist because I don't have the money for it. Am I hopeless? Should I feel like a bum for living with my parents? How do I get over my insane fear of the future? Please help me!
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Old 02-23-2005, 01:39 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,016

The reason you are scared and ìterrified of the future,î is because you have lost trust and confidence. This is what insecurity does to us when it has a chance to root itself in your psyche. Self-Coaching teaches that fears, doubts, negatives, anxieties, etc., can all be habits of insecurityóhabits that narrow our focus and convince us that there is no hope. And like any habit, if you feed it, it (your doubts, fears and negatives) it will continue to grow, leaving you with panic and fear. The opposite is equally true: starve it and it will die. In order to live your life with a more courageous attitude, youíre going to have to stop allowing (yup, this is something you can learn) insecurity to project its fears and negatives forward. This becomes a form of self-hypnosis contributing to what we call anticipatory anxiety (better know as the ìwhat-ifsî). The key is for you to understand that itís your insecurity thatís dictating your view of life right now, not you! I would like for you to view my interview in the Whatís New section on the home page. You need to become convinced that in order to liberate yourself from your anticipatory prognostications and live with courage, you going to have to put a stop to the distortions that insecurity throws at you. Sure, you may not have answers right now, but you need to ask, ìWhy is not having an answer right this minute a problem?î What makes you think that you wonít find an answer? Itís insecurity that makes you conclude that whatís coming is chaos. Now hereís the key, your perception of doom and gloom IS NOT a fact! Itís a fiction perpetrated by insecurity. My books on Self-Coaching can teach you to separate facts from fictions and to build the muscle of trust that will empower you to let life unfoldówithout fear.

Iíve always been fond of the Zen adage, When the pupil is ready the teacher appears. Self-Coaching can teach you to go forward in a more instinctual, intuitive way, handling whatís on your plate today, while maximizing your capacity for success and happiness. Learning to proceed with trustóthis is the solution. Iím convinced that if you develop your capacity for self-trust, lifeís answers will find you. Please tell yourself that you donít have to have all the answers to your life right now (if you allow insecurity to insist on this, then you wonít be able to avoid anxiety), whatís needed is an attitude of trust and confidence that will allow you to realize that you will find your answers (or vice versa). Without insecurity, this becomes a fact.

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with your physician or other qualified mental health professional.

Dr. Joe
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