insecuritys grip

[justclaire]

Dr joe
Firstly if you wish to delete any of my posts due to the frequency of my posting i will not be offended.
Secondly and to my main concern. I seem to get so far with beating my anxiety and then it finds a new guise. Very recently its been extreme panic over the strength and honesty in my long distance relationship. We have been together nearly seven years. There have been troubled times which have left us both insecure but we have made it through. For some reason i have necome almost paranoid that he could not love me enough. I have hang ups in the area due to being adopted but it has spiralled totally out of control and is seriously threatening our relationship and my sanity. I am using mindfulness meditation to learn to let go but it teally frightes me that I am gonna break my most loving relationship. Any advice? I have read your reconnecting book.
C

[Dr. Joe]

The key is not to let insecurity hijack your thinking. If you allow insecurity to spin, you will go on being victimized. Only you can figure out how to turn away from thoughts that are driven by insecurity. This is what I call a leap of faith.

[justclaire]

Thanks doc. Im going back to the beginning by listing fact and fiction thinking. How long do you think i should do it for before i move on? Oops,i didnt mean to put your name as the title.....the,hazard of using mobiles/cells

[Dr. Joe]

You don't stop seperating facts from frictions, at least not until you've liberated yourself from reflexive insecurity. It's something that will always serve you, especially when emotions cloud an issue.

[justclaire]

Ok great:-)

[justclaire]

Doc i am now learning to live in the moment using a meditation programme. Is it ok to always live in the moment? C

[Dr. Joe]

Living in the moment is a relative thing. The more you stay "present" the easier it is to find contentment while shedding anxiety and depression (which are time-travelers, i.e., past or future thinking). Don't be rigid about staying in the moment, just recognize that being in the moment is a worthwhile orienting strategy...life sometimes demands making appointments, arranging events, etc., simply come back to the present whenever possible (do not get compulsive about this). After all, your true and connected life is right in front of you, not congested in your abstract thoughts.

[justclaire]

Thanks again:-)

[justclaire]

Fed up with myself. I know i should be myself but i feel i dont know me. Ive only ever been on insecure claire. Been doing ok be but sometimes like today i feel i am just destined to screw up my relationship. Dont need advice just a kick up the butt.:-(

[justclaire]

Just used Mbct( mindfulness-based cognitive therapy) meditation for exploring difficulties and lits amazing how it helps you to learn to stop fearing thoughts....thus removing their power:-D
I sorted myself.....gold star:-D
Dont think my partner will ever read reconnecting so i hope my efforts are enough to bridge the miles untill we are living together in a few years time:-/