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Old 08-05-2014, 09:01 PM
todayoklw todayoklw is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Default Am I controlling life?

Dear Dr. Joe,

I want something so much and I have money to buy it, but I can't make up my mind to do so, cause I want to save the money for the right things and my life, in my opinion saving money is a good habit and I should only pay for things are supposed to be good for my life, for example, using money to buy books is doing the right thing, but buy clothes or something just because I like it and for fun is wrong. Would you please apply the five steps of Self-coaching to this question, I really would like to and can change any bad habits, but I don't know whitch one is a bad habit.

Thank you so much!
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Old 08-06-2014, 02:05 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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Default Black and White Thinking

Perhaps the best word I can think of is "balance." You are absolutely correct that being practical is a good thing, however sometimes being a bit frivolous can also be a good thing. For example, if all your money is spent on "have-tos" or "shoulds" rather than "want-tos" you're setting yourself up for a rather strained life. Once in awhile, it's a good idea to treat yourself (within moderation) to some of life's pleasures. It's never a good thing to live completely in a black-and-white world. The path of moderation suggests living more in the life's "grey," i.e, flexibility rather than rigidity. From a Self-Coaching perspective, it's also important to be careful of mutually exclusive terms like right-wrong, good-bad....things are usually relative and deserve and attitude of flexibility and awareness of the whole picture of your life. Bottom line: within moderation, flexibility usually leads to a happier life than rigidity.

Yours,
Dr. Joe
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