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Old 10-01-2013, 05:29 AM
Blueness Blueness is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1
Smile It is Back

I have had Anxiety off and on in my life. Have not had a bad Attack of it in many years. Now has come back in full force after many years. I am now playing the "What if Game", and am getting "afraid" of the sensations, and not wanting to go anywhere. I know I can't give into this, but I am having trouble when I drive during the Anxiety. The last time I had this so bad was in 1979 going thru a divorce. I am now remarried after 21 years of being single. I have been married 15 years now. It is a average marriage. Happy days and not happy days, but I don't want to go thru a second divorce. He is a very good man to me. I am wanting to know some tools for getting thru this time, so That I can function better. I know I can not give in to the Anxiety, but sometimes it gets overwhelming, and when it does, I get so scared that I am going to have a breakdown.

Any Couching would be very much appreciated. I am a 65 year old retired Grandma.......

Thank You so Much
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Old 10-02-2013, 11:54 AM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,015

From you note, it sounds like the source of your anxiety may be due to your fear of another divorce. Your description of "happy days and not happy days," sounds like you're struggling with ambivalence over your marriage. Anxiety is always precipitated by some perceived loss of control. If, in fact, you're feeling threatened by the stagnation you feel in your marriage, then perhaps a more proactive approach is necessary. Your marriage clearly sounds like it has potential and I would encourage you to take a look at my book Reconnecting. Reconnecting was originally meant as a program where a proactive partner could intervene with a more passive, less enthusiastic partner to make changes. Rather than do nothing, think about improving your relationship. This alone should help with the out-of-control feelings that you might be facing a divorce.

Dr. Joe

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