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Old 08-29-2013, 11:20 AM
c123 c123 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Default Should more confidence being put into,or should the effort be ceased?

I was diagnosis so call ‘psychosis’ in 2002,and has been on medicine for 11 years.I am searching for new med over the last 5 years,even with full time jobs.I tried the newest version of psychiatry drugs,and is willing to find a more powerful drug to help me.As it is been told by many ‘doctors’,it is a devastating disease,never been healed,life-long.So do I think about it.
After one day,a sudden thought broke into my mind,as I remebered, someone has told all of us(patients) to change the attitude towards life,in that ‘hospital’.So,I think can I change it?I find your book on amazon.cn,So I start reading.I was shocked by what you have writen.Every thing you wrote matched my thought.I want to control,everything , my future,the coversation I was having with my friends—I must be the leading role,other people’s feeling towards me must be positive,and must not be negative,I must do something to make someone pleased,and also the feeling,why this happened to me,only myself?And the unconfidence I was having,no I can not do everything just as better,because I have been diagnosed with a brain disorder.And I was always looking into the shadow of the world,and hatred towards almost everyone,even towards myself.
I do not bellieve in my self,always think if there was a mistake in my thought.So after 2 years,I have OC symtoms,fearing about all kinds of diseases,for one year I even did not get out of my home,fearing,but the fear never stop,just aggravating,I spent almost 8 hours in OC symtoms everyday.Is there a way out?I even decide for a death,although not commiting a suicide.I only belive in the hospital,but they are really doing nothing to change the symptoms,only medication was added,Prozac,Paxil,Zoloft,etc.
About,3 years ago,I found on the web about Canadian Pharmacies,so I tried them,they have a much cheaper price there,Using about one and a half year.The latest drug Saphris,they said it could help ease the symptoms better,I tried.I do not know whether it really ease the symptoms,what I do know is that I really had a much positive attitude toward life,for a few month,because I believe in scientist,and their research.After few month,mood begin to drop,I add some sertraline,to cope with OC symptoms,maximum dose 200mg.I should have felt the dizziness though out the day,but I do not,placbo effort showed its powerfulness once again.I thought my life could be saved by the scientist,because,it worked,at least,now.And in clinical trial,lots of so called powerful drug are waiting,I will and must have a better future.I am afraid to find a girl friend,although 27,I have a brain disorder,as it is diagnosed by the most reputable doctor in the country,so do I believed,what a handicup.
It begin in May as the book is read,I began my frist lesson,my own lesson,block the rethinking process.I am always rethink about things,I even do not know why,as 3 month passed,I begin to understand,it is the eager to control?I think about the bad thing,and though that I had control everybodies attitude toward me,at least in virtual world of my head.And now it always appear in my head.And isn’t it the same process of OC symptoms,as thought,virtually,non-sense,knock into my head.Do the mental illness symtoms share the same root?What I do know is that,after the lesson was taken place,OC symtoms got a 99 percent sharp decrease,it would hinder me no more.Even though I have some hallucation and delusion,but I firmly believe,if you can not stop birds flying into your head,you can stop building bird nest on you head,so sometimes later on,no birds would like to fly onto your head,afterall,it is not a matter that everyone experience some of it.I am still doing my lesson in my leisure time,block the process of rethinking,although quite,hard,and while I do my work,I am fully occupied,I told myself,you can do it as better as everyone else,there is nothing wrong with the work you have done,just go on.
In recent days,however,the rethinking process became somewhat frequent,the imagination.It seems that I really lost the courage,every relative of me seem to believe in the local professor,so no help has come to push me to go on,so what they are doing?Their would like to find every tiny fact to show that I am mentally ill,and so does the book wrote,no one,could,as little as 5 percent,gain full recovery.
As one said,man are making their own prison.I made my prison,and the local professor are helping me to do so,they even give me a fine design,none escapable,also the relatives was in the help of doing this ‘fine’ job.So,what do you suggest in my case?
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:44 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,015

I appreciate your interest and participation in the Self-Coaching forums. Unfortunately, I found it hard to fully understand your post. Therefore, let me at least offer you a more generic response, especially in regard to the obsessive compulsivity you mention. It's not unusual for most people to have fleeting thoughts of danger or chaos. For most, such a distressing thought pops up and is immediately released. I mention this because it's important for you to know that thoughts, especially thoughts rooted in irrational, or at least highly improbable scenarios, are not an uncommon part of life. What happens when there's significant insecurity, one will develop a self "distrust." When this happens disturbing thoughts begin to get roots because the insecurity drives a feeling of self-doubt. Saying this differently, you begin to feel threatened because you can't trust yourself to stay safe. This can become generalized and one can develop not only a self-distrust, but also a distrust of life itself. In which case there can be a general sense of things going awry, pessimism, and hopelessness.

It's important for you to recognize that thoughts (and feelings) aren't facts--ESPECIALLY when driven by insecurity. In order to challenge the irrationality of these thoughts, it's important to develop the "trust muscle," i.e., the ability to dismiss irrational, superstitious, pessimistic thinking. The more you work through any insecurity, the easier it will be to see the irrationality of this thinking thus allowing you to challenge yourself systematically as you begin to risk trusting, believing, and cultivating an attitude of hope. I sense from your note that there have been hopeful "moments" in your life where you believed that you could be helped. These were times where you improved. Do keep in mind that the ability to embrace reasonable hope and optimism can be more powerful than any drug. I hope that my book has given you a glimpse into how insecurity and control are the true enemies that work against your intentions.

Dr. Joe

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with your physician or other qualified mental health professional.

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