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Old 09-24-2013, 07:00 PM
louie louie is offline
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Dear dr joe I have had to come home from work today as i suddenly felt incredibly faint and had to rush to the bathroom to sit on the floor as i have been trying to hide my symptoms from my boss . I felt faint and sick and shakey. I am currantly reading your book for the third time. I keep a journal, use the stop drop thinking several times a day and imagine my chid reflex as a bug and visuise squashing it. I wake up from dreams stressed and do these physical actions in bed before going back to sleep but i am still getting such terrible physical symptoms. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow but i dont hold much hope there. I know this is in my head and i hsave to fix it but i am struggling so much. I have been sufferring with these symptoms for two years now and im so frightened that life is not getting better. Whilst reading your book it al makes sense and applies to my circumstances but i am really trying and nothing changes. What am i doing wrong? I try to exercise on my rowing machine in hope that it burns off the cortzone as i have read stress builds this. I have tried paul mckenna self hypnisis and nothing. Im scared . I am a mum and have two children whom i try very hard to act normal around but i feel far from normal. I am in a job where i am responsible for care of others and although i try really hard to hide it , stress gets me physically ill. Im so very frightened that there is no more to life than this endless sickness from my stupid head. Please please advise me. Tell me what im doing wrong. I truley believe in your book but i think im doing something wrong. I have posted on here before and found your reply to be a big comfort as you understand . Please please reply . louie xx
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Old 09-25-2013, 01:56 PM
Dr. Joe Dr. Joe is offline
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The ultimate goal of Self-Coaching is learningself-trust. Essentially, as you've readin my book, learning to trust requires a leap of faith. When a lifetime of insecurity-driven habitshave eroded your self-confidence and trust, it's not easy to let go and reallytrust, especially when you have physical symptoms that tend to keep youconfused as to what's going on (I am glad you are going to get checked outphysically, this is always the most important first step, i.e., eliminating anyphysical causes). Assuming we're talkingabout self-trust, as I mentioned above, habits are stubborn things. Without a foundation of trust and security,you have to rely on Self-Talk to carry the day. Self-Talk is only meant to get you to a point where you're willing to"risk" living more reactively, with trust.

When, because of insecurity, your personality becomes shapedby control (worry, rumination,perfectionism, insulation, etc.) in an attempt to side-step vulnerability, yourtrust-muscle atrophies. Essentially,itís either control life or trust life. Your choice (until now) has more than likely, been to control life. It stands to reason that trusting yourselfand life might feel alien and unnatural at first. This is to be expected. Youíre asking yourself to do something thatfeels unnatural. But keep in mind, itonly feels unnatural because of your habit(s) of controlling life (worrying,avoiding, withdrawing, etc., are all typical reactions, especially to abusiverelationships). Once you begin to removethe congested, Reflexive Thinking associated with control, youíll begin torealize a vast potential of instinctual, intuitive ability (i.e., trust). And once you begin to get a taste of livingyour life without the overlay of insecurity and distrust, youíll begin toexperience an exhilaration and liberation that will truly amaze you.

You should realize that because habits are so resistant tochange, developing self-trust is a process. Like building any muscle in the body, it takes time, effort andpatience. Don't be deterred by lack of progress. As you continue to shut down the doubts,fears, and negatives of your insecurity-driven thinking, you will slowly be building a foundation fromwhich you can eventually take that leap of faith and believe that you reallycan handle life...without worry, anticipation or fear.

I find your interest in Self-Coaching very gratifying. Although I try to spread the Self-Coachingword through my writing, lectures, and private practice, I find that feedbackfrom someone like yourself is invaluable. If youíre so inclined, I would be most appreciative if you wouldconsider writing a reader review of the book on Amazon.com.

I wish you the best.

Yours,

Dr. Joe

Disclaimer: The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requiresa physician or other qualified mental health professional. The informationprovided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand thatthe opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, andare not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for consulting with yourphysician or other qualified mental health professional.

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