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Am I too compulsive? Too perfectionistic?

  Whether we’re talking about compulsivity or perfectionism, these personality traits have one thing in common: they’re misguided, insecurity-driven attempts to control feelings of vulnerability. As with other controlling strategies, stress becomes an inescapable component of maintaining a compulsive-perfectionistic lifestyle. In time, stress inevitably depletes, leading to emotional struggles, especially anxiety-based issues. It may be okay for others to come in second, spill ketchup on their blouse, or have a bad hair day, but not for perfectionists.

 Striving for compulsive control of life is exhausting, yet many feel they have no choice. It’s a black-and-white world where not only do all your ‘ducks’ have to be lined up in a row, but God forbid one of those ducks breaks rank. This is a nightmare for the compulsively driven person.

This Self-Coaching episode shows that striving to control life compulsively is a fool’s errand. The solution isn’t more control, it’s developing Self-trust. What’s funny is that it’s not about being perfect; it’s really about not screwing up! Perfection, along with compulsive control, is, and will always be an illusion. Unfortunately, for many, without sufficient self-trust, it’s the only game in town.

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