Self-Coaching Podcasts

Reclaiming and redefining your life after COVID

Reclaiming and redefining your life after COVID

With the vaccine rollouts and warmer days ahead, for the first time, there may be a legitimate light at the end of this long, long tunnel. Great news! But as encouraging as this news may be, we must now prepare ourselves to enter a familiar yet changed world..

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss how this is the time to begin to fortify ourselves and our psyches for what’s ahead in a post-virus world. Although paradoxical, it’s not unusual that, as things continue to improve, we may actually see an uptick in our level of emotional distress. Why? Because for the last year we’ve been in a kind of automatic survival mode — less thinking, more protecting. It’s as if we’ve been holding our breath under water and are finally able to reach the surface and gasp a breath, only to realize how close we came to drowning. But as we start to catch our collective breaths, we’ll begin to feel the toll our stress has taken, and how depleted we are, mentally as well as physically.

Realize that as the intensity and stress of these past few months begin to flatten along with that damn curve (!), your emotions may lag behind. This is normal and should be expected. Don’t think that your psyche hasn’t been affected by what you’ve gone through — it has! 

Maximizing your relationship effectiveness in marriages, partnerships, and friendships

Maximizing your relationship effectiveness in marriages, partnerships, and friendships

In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss the many elements of successful relating. Whether you’re involved in a relationship that’s struggling or you simply want to fortify a good and loving relationship, this episode will shed light on the many elements involved in maintaining, enhancing, and restoring the love and enthusiasm you and your partner, friend, or spouse are capable of–and deserve!  

However bogged down, confused, or distraught you may feel, untangling the chaos of a struggling relationship doesn’t have to feel like rocket science, quite the opposite, it’s all about raising your ‘couples-consciousness’ by learning to break away from reflexive, destructive habits and establishing more effective ways to communicate. Isn’t it time to start restoring optimism, hope, and love in your relationship?

Understanding true happiness

Understanding true happiness

In this episode of Self-Coaching, Lauren and I discuss the three pillars happiness: personal happiness (releasing your innate capacity for joy); functional happiness (learning to ‘connect’ rather than ‘disconnect’ from what you do), and relationship/social happiness (overcoming the vulnerability of relating to others).  

Understanding the difference between joy, which is an internal pursuit, and happiness which is an external pursuit, will help you understand the many misguided frustrations we face when trying to live more meaningful, content lives.

When life feels like an emotional jungle: a psychological guide

When life feels like an emotional jungle: a psychological guide

Being human means accepting the fact that life can challenge us in many ways. Insecurity, emotional vulnerability, fear of making mistakes, uncertainty, anxiety, social survival, competition, loss, abandonment, and so on, represent just some of the many potential threats we encounter in our emotional “jungle.” In this Self-Coaching episode, Lauren and I discuss how the myriad array of circumstantial threats can make us feel like we’re lost in a jungle of mixed and frightening emotions. As disquieting as these emotions can be, it helps to have a strategy for navigating life’s inevitable challenges, and yet, as simplistic as it seems, sometimes all that’s necessary is a change of perspective.  

Caring (too much)what people think of us

Caring (too much)what people think of us

Do you worry what people think of you? Do you typically find yourself focusing on your negatives? Are you always comparing yourself with others? If so, this episode of Self-Coaching is for you. Whether you’re too sensitive or even hypersensitive, it’s important to get a handle on how low self-esteem can create a life of torment.

Join Lauren and I as we discuss various Self-Coaching strategies involved in combating the myriad struggles related to a lack of self-confidence, self-worth, or insecurity.

Want to lose those extra “COVID” pounds? A Self-Coaching, non-diet solution

Want to lose those extra “COVID” pounds? A Self-Coaching, non-diet solution

Tired of endless dieting? Not getting results that last? IT’s time to change your relationship to food and change the way you look—for life!

This episode of Self-Coaching explores the emotional triggers and ingrained behavioral habits driving overindulgence. Lauren and I discuss powerful, simple Self-Coaching techniques that will help you break self-sabotaging cravings, compulsions, and emotional eating. You’ll learn to lose those extra pounds for good.

Improving your sleep, interpreting your dreams, and having more energy

Improving your sleep, interpreting your dreams, and having more energy

In this episode, Lauren and I discuss the importance of sleep along with various Self-Coaching suggestions for falling asleep, staying asleep, and waking up refreshed. Learn how bed-time rituals and day-time habits play an important part in allowing the body and mind to naturally wind down at the end of the day in preparation for an easy transition to a restorative slumber. You’ll find out why sleep is a critical component in daytime productivity, mental well-being, and emotional balance.   

Dreams, nightmares, dream paralysis, and sleep walking are a just a few of the nocturnal phenomena discussed in this episode.

A better, Self-Coaching way to manage stress

A better, Self-Coaching way to manage stress

In this episode Lauren and I discuss numerous Self-Coaching techniques for understanding and managing stress. Everyone knows stress, it’s a reflexive, protective reaction to danger—real or imagined. When you feel threatened, challenged, or overwhelmed, stress starts as a chemical reaction in your body designed to get you to protect yourself.  

What causes stress in one person may be of little or no consequence to another. Some people are just better able to handle stress while others may start to panic over small, insignificant challenges. Our bodies are designed to handle the inevitable stress of living (i.e., small doses of stress), unfortunately, we are not equipped to handle long-term, chronic stress without ill consequences. You may not be able to eliminate stress from your life, but you don’t have to be victimized by it either.

When is it okay to be selfish? Not all selfishness is selfish

When is it okay to be selfish? Not all selfishness is selfish

In this episode my daughter Lauren and I discuss selfishness. You might be surprised to find out that not all selfishness is selfish, in fact, when it comes to being more effective, empathetic, and caring, taking care of yourself and your own needs is a prerequisite for genuine compassion and relatedness. But first, from a Self-Coaching perspective, we need to stop calling it selfish and find a “healthier” description of selfishness. Join us as we explore self-care, self-love, and self-respect.

15 neurotic ways to screw up your life

15 neurotic ways to screw up your life

In this episode, Lauren and I discuss the many ways we inadvertently trip ourselves up psychologically in our day to day lives. Learn to become the person you want to be—not the person driven by habits of defensiveness or insecurity. Whether it’s feeling guilty, hostile, fearful, or plagued with incessant worry or self-doubt, we offer some Self-Coaching insights along with strategies to live a more happy, productive life.
Overcoming procrastination, laziness and other self-defeating tendencies

Overcoming procrastination, laziness and other self-defeating tendencies

In this episode Lauren and I explore a very human tendency to procrastinate in an attempt to side-step life’s difficult demands. Although procrastination is a part of everyone’s life, a habit of procrastination can have a crippling impact on your overall effectiveness. Although closely related, we also make the important distinction between procrastination and laziness? If you’re looking to be more productive and aligned with your aims and goals, then this episode can offer Self-Coaching insights and suggestions for finding your “trigger”—the moment where you overcome procrastination’s resistance and realize your intentions.
Grieving and finding purpose after the loss of a child

Grieving and finding purpose after the loss of a child

In this episode of Self-Coaching, Lauren and I discuss a very difficult topic that eventually affects everyone of us—grief and grieving. We were joined by Julie Balay, a registered dietitian/nutritionist and board-certified sports dietitian, who specializes in eating disorders, sports nutrition, and weight management.   Her greatest gift has been being a mom to her two sons, Ryder, 15, and Chase, who died from a rare brain tumor almost four years ago. Chase would have been 14 this week.   Although we all have a tendency to side-step issues of death and dying, there is a need, in spite of our psyche’s inability to comprehend the death of a loved one, to somehow make sense of our loss. Julie tells us her story, her struggle, and most importantly her ongoing efforts to reclaim a sense of meaning, passion, and purpose to her life.
Why is change so hard?

Why is change so hard?

Do you grumble or cringe every time you’re faced with a need to change some aspect of your life? If so, Lauren and I discuss a Self-Coaching approach, not only on how to overcome your resistance to change, but how to foster a more resilient, adaptive attitude. Change, after all, is an inevitable part of life. For some of us change can be the root of much stress, anxiety, and fear. Why? Basically, it’s all about the devil you know vs. the devil you don’t. We’re comfortable with what we’ve learned to handle, whereas change presents a disruption to our status quo. And for someone with a low level of self-trust, this simply feels too risky. The more secure and self-trusting a person is, the more capable they are of yielding to life’s ongoing demands to change.
The negativity bias: why it’s harder to be positive than negative

The negativity bias: why it’s harder to be positive than negative

In this episode Lauren and I discuss the ‘negativity bias,’ an inherited human trait that causes us to put more weight on life’s negatives than on life’s positives. A genetic predisposition, such as the negativity bias, is NOT a life sentence, it’s only “tendency toward” clinging—Velcro-like—to negatives. We discuss various, straightforward, Self-Coaching ways to neutralize the negativity bias and replace it with an empowered capacity for positivity.   Although the negativity bias has an evolutionary survival basis, it’s important to differentiate a helpful negativity bias from neurotic negativity. The former is driven by potentially harmful life circumstances, the latter by fictions of insecurity. This episode will teach you to differentiate between the two–paving the way for more positive and empowered living.
What exactly is psychological maturity?

What exactly is psychological maturity?

In this episode Lauren and I explore the value of psychological maturity when dealing with life’s challenges. We define psychological maturity as a willingness to handle life directly with courageous self-confidence; whereas psychological immaturity is a reflexive, neurotic way of side-stepping life’s challenges. But not all immaturity is destructive or neurotic. for a mature adult, there can be a “healthy” form immaturity that we call your “inner child” who is capable of allowing for an experience of joy, spontaneity, and frivolity.  Contrast this with immature adults whose inner child is used, not for adding spice to one’s life, but to manipulate, avoid, or control others.
Are you a “yes” person? A “people pleaser?” Learn how to take care of your true needs and desires. 

Are you a “yes” person? A “people pleaser?” Learn how to take care of your true needs and desires. 

In this episode, Lauren and I address a rather common problem—saying yes when you mean to say no. The dynamic lies in insecurity. When you sell out on yourself and yield to someone else’s wish you feel safe knowing they will be pleased with you. If, however, you say no, the outcome is less certain. They may get annoyed or angry with you. It’s not a terrible problem, but as we discuss in this episode, your time is valuable and pleasing others at your expense is wasting your valuable time. We’ll tell you how to stand up for yourself and reframe that knee-jerk, “yes,” into a more honest, “I’d rather not.”  The simple act of creating and maintaining healthy boundaries can empower you to live a life of integrity and personal liberation.
How to make–and keep–your 2021 New Year’s resolutions

How to make–and keep–your 2021 New Year’s resolutions

With the close of this difficult and tragic year, it’s time to change our perspective as we look toward 2021 with the prospects of reclaiming our normal lives once again.

In this episode my daughter and I discuss the perennial practice of making New Year’s resolutions. If you’d like some Self-Coaching advice on how to make–and keep–this year’s 2021 New Year’s resolutions, you need to listen to this episode.

Lauren and I would like to wish all our listeners a most happy, healthy New Year, imbued with renewed optimism and belief of better times ahead.

 Handling the holidays while handling Covid

 Handling the holidays while handling Covid

As we enter the holiday season this year, we are faced with many new and unique challenges brought on by this pandemic. No longer, for example, can family gatherings be the norm as we ask ourselves who may be spreading the virus. It’s especially difficult for those who have lost loved ones or jobs to even contemplate a holiday season that’s supposed to be joyous when everything seems so bleak. Although the prospects of 2021 are brighter because of the vaccines that are being rolled out, we nevertheless are still left with the question, how do we celebrate? Or, perhaps for many, do we celebrate? In this episode, my daughter Lauren and I explore the challenges of the holidays, suggesting insights and creative options for not allowing Covid to victimize us or our holidays.
Embracing the Mind-Body Connection

Embracing the Mind-Body Connection

In this episode we move beyond the mind in search of a different pathway that may bring us closer to our inherent “love state” We welcome Erin Pace-creator and teacher of the “Responsive Body Practice”-to discuss the power of tapping into body-wisdom in order to access true emotional expression and freedom from habituated ways of being.  Instead of living our lives from our “neck up” let’s explore the possibilities that arise when we experience the world with our full being.
Want a fresh start? It’s all about learning to re-frame toxic, negative thinking

Want a fresh start? It’s all about learning to re-frame toxic, negative thinking

Whether it be the stress of handling difficult health challenges, managing ourselves during this pandemic, or simply dealing with the Sunday night stress of beginning another work week, Lauren and I offer straight-forward, Self-Coaching strategies, not only for coping, but for re-framing your negative thinking and unhealthy perspectives, giving you a fresh new start.
Slaying emotional struggle: a guide to mindful living

Slaying emotional struggle: a guide to mindful living

In this episode Lauren Simonian and I discuss the many psychological advantages of mindfulness. If you’re looking to eliminate emotional struggle in your life, there’s no better foundation than learning to be “present.” Worry, anxiety, depression and other struggles all exist in a worrisome, abstract future or a guilt-ridden past. By learning to be mindful, you will also be learning to live correctly, realizing your full potential for emotional well-being.
The Importance of Carving out time to Cope During Stressful Times: For Parents, Children, and Adults

The Importance of Carving out time to Cope During Stressful Times: For Parents, Children, and Adults

Children can be our best life-teachers. They often see the world from an unconditioned mind, approaching life with purity and non-bias. In this episode, my daughter Lauren joins me to speak of her experiences working with children in her Health and Wellness classes. Together we explore the deep need for all people–regardless of age, to find ways to incorporate peace and well-being into everyday life.
Why your past isn’t as important as you think

Why your past isn’t as important as you think

In this episode I dig deeper into the Self-Coaching rationale for ignoring your past and focusing on the true, here-and-now reality behind change and emotional liberation. You’ll learn why anxiety, depression and emotional struggle are resistant to change. Addiction-like these struggles become mired in reflexive and destructive patterns. Sure, it’s hard to change, but by understanding why you need to develop your self-trust “muscle” you’ll begin to understand a real, legitimate path toward emotional liberation.
Understanding relationship struggle (and what you can do about it)

Understanding relationship struggle (and what you can do about it)

Understanding and eliminating relationship struggle, apathy, and conflict isn’t rocket science, not once you know what to do and how to do it. You’ll learn about relationship trust, partner and self awareness, fidelity, relationship maturity, and most importantly taking the leap and risking love.   If I had one wish, it would be for every couple to realize just how simple and effortless true loving really is. It has never been that complicated. It only felt that way because of insecurity’s distortions, communication deficits, or a general sense of relationship apathy. Even if you’re dealing with a reluctant, less enthusiastic partner, you can learn to be the catalyst that encourages positive change and relationship evolution.   In life everyone goes around one time—no exceptions. Eliminating relationship struggle makes common sense. Spending your life as part of a wonderful, loving relationship makes sense too—superb sense.
Reaching your goals—guaranteed!

Reaching your goals—guaranteed!

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” (Pogo, 1970) Life doesn’t stop us from reaching our goals, we stop us. Self-distrust, pessimism, negativity, fear–whatever the circumstances that frustrate you, there’s a way. If not through the front door, then the side door, the back door…there’s always a way! Whatever your goals, in this episode you’ll learn the three components necessary for guaranteeing success.
The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of Life

Ever wonder, “What’s the meaning of life?” Of course you have. How did you answer? Did you solve this age-old riddle? In this episode, I’d like to present a Self-Coaching solution that will allow you to cultivate a better, more intimate understanding of how to live a more meaningful life.
There’s nothing wrong with you—stop feeling like there is!

There’s nothing wrong with you—stop feeling like there is!

Want to feel better about yourself? This episode of Self-Coaching will teach you how to embrace who and what you are. It’s time to recognize that in order to be your best self, you need to learn to 1.) understand your uniqueness, 2.) stop comparing yourself to others, and 3.) update your adolescent perceptions of self and life. Whether it’s your lack of self-confidence, a sense of inferiority, or simply feeling depressed about your life, this episode will show you how to see the truth and the way forward toward a better happier life.
Managing your fears

Managing your fears

In the episode you’re going to learn that fear is an unavoidable part of being human. You may not be able to eliminate all fear from you life, but you can definitely learn to manage these skirmishes.

It may sound like emotional sleight of hand, but fear is nothing more than speculation. Not a neutral form of speculation, like anticipating when things will improve, but more of a worrisome anticipation of chaos, like “This pandemic can’t be stopped!” Of course, in these challenging times, some fear may be unavoidable— this is normal and understandable. But when fear becomes chronic and unreasonable, then it’s time for some personal, Self-Coaching “mitigation.” 

Think of fear as occurring on a continuum: Minimal Fear/Concern is on the far left. Moderate Fear/Worry is in the center. Intense Fear/Panic is on the far right. The left side of the continuum represents someone experiencing little or no fear. As you progress along the continuum, fear morphs from moderate/managed fear, to extreme fear (panic) on the opposite end. Where someone falls on that continuum is unique to each individual and that persons level of self-trust and insecurity.

Disappointed by friends? Learn how to adjust your ‘Relationship Orbits’

Disappointed by friends? Learn how to adjust your ‘Relationship Orbits’

Do you ever find yourself repeatedly let down by your so-called friends? The problem may not be with your friends—not exactly—but with your expectations instead. If you find yourself disappointed or confused by your relationships, perhaps it’s time to learn about what I call Relationship Orbits. In this Self-Coaching episode, you’ll find that once your relationships are assigned to their proper orbits, you’ll never have to be disappointed or confused again.
How to stop worrying

How to stop worrying

In this episode, you’ll see that worrying is a form of psychological friction, an anticipation of future chaos—things going wrong (we don’t worry about things going right). Whether you try to control your life by worrying, over-thinking, ruminating, being too cautious, fearful or doubtful; worrying is never the answer and if you’re stumbling emotionally, it’s always at the root of the problem. Rather than worrying about an uncertain or chaotic future, you’ll see why learning to stay focused on the here-and-now facts of your life will keep you mindfully in the present, eliminating the anxiety associated with anticipating doom and gloom. Subscribe to the Self Coaching Podcast here!
Why you don’t have to know “why” you’re struggling.

Why you don’t have to know “why” you’re struggling.

There’s no question that understanding the historical reasons for your emotional struggles can offer some valuable perspective. But from a Self-Coaching perspective, understanding the “why” you suffer, as enlightening and helpful as it may be, isn’t as important as the “what” you’re going to do about it. If, for example, you’re trying to quit smoking cigarettes, do you think it matters why you took that first cigarette? Of course not. Same goes for challenging the “habits” of anxiety and depression, understanding alone won’t do a thing to help you break your habit. Learning to starve incessant doubt, fear, and negativity is what will. Subscribe to the Self Coaching Podcast here!
Frustrated with your life? It may be your attitude.

Frustrated with your life? It may be your attitude.

In this episode, I discuss why your attitude affects not only how you see the world, but also how the world sees you. Did you know that people with positive attitudes are seen as being physically more attractive than people with negative attitudes? It’s a fact! It’s also a fact that attitudes are learned and attitudes can be “unlearned.” Understand that neither the optimist nor the pessimist knows what tomorrow will bring, but the optimist, by embracing a positive attitude, lives in a passionate world of unending possibilities while the pessimist lives in a world of unending dread. Isn’t it time that you stop being passive to reflexive, knee-jerk attitudes that generate emotional friction and struggle? Isn’t it time that you reclaim the life you want—the life you deserve? Subscribe to the Self Coaching Podcast here!

Stay in the know with Dr. Joe
subscribe to our newsletter:

The Self-Coaching newsletter is filled with tips and advice for dealing with all of life's challenges: emotional struggle, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, as well as the psychology of weight loss and lifelong weight mastery


Follow Dr. Joe on Social Media

The diagnosis of clinical anxiety or depressive disorders requires a physician or other qualified mental health professional. The information provided is intended for informational purposes only. Please understand that the opinions shared with you are meant to be general reference information, and are not intended as a diagnosis or substitute for counseling with your physician or other qualified mental health professional. Self-Coaching.net provides access to resources and other information as a public service. Although reasonable efforts have been made to ensure that all electronic information made available is current, complete and accurate, Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D. (Dr. Joe) does not warrant or represent that this information is current, complete and accurate. All information is subject to change on a regular basis, without notice.Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D., assumes no responsibility for any errors in the information provided, nor assumes any liability for any damages incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of the Self-Coaching.net Website.Any electronic information or inquiries that Self-Coaching.net receives from visitors shall not be considered as or treated as, confidential. The inclusion of, or linking to, other Website URLs does not imply my endorsement of, nor responsibility for, those Websites, but has been done as a convenience to my website visitors.