Skip to main content

What’s wrong with wanting to be perfect?

Philosophically speaking, why would striving for such a noble and exalted goal as perfection be a problem? Simple answer: Nature abhors perfection, at least as the perfectionist defines it.
Although perfectionists like to believe they’re pursuing a lofty, aesthetic ideal, in reality, they’re only looking for a tool with one mundane application–control. Neurotic control! No doubt it’s the exalted illusion of complete and perfect control that gets so many people hooked (I’ve often said that perfectionists don’t want to be perfect, they NEED to be perfect in order to avoid screwing up, criticism, or rejection!).
Bettering yourself, improving, learning, moving forward–all can be seen as constructive and worthwhile ambitions. It’s okay to move toward an ideal of perfecting yourself, as long as you see this as an ideal and not a reality. When you insist on being perfect, you move from a constructive desire to improve your life to a destructive desire to control it.

#anxiety #depression #ocd

Stay in the know with Dr. Joe
subscribe to our newsletter:

The Self-Coaching newsletter is filled with tips and advice for dealing with all of life's challenges: emotional struggle, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, as well as the psychology of weight loss and lifelong weight mastery